When Children Run Away
By Darlene Zagata
In recent years there has been a growing number of runaways. We read about them in newspapers or hear that someone’s child ran away or is missing from a neighbor or through the gossip grapevine. We may even know the parents of a runaway in our community. But as a parent you never even consider the thought that your child might runaway.
When a child does run away you ask yourself why. What would make a child run away from home? There are many reasons why a child may make such a drastic choice. One of the most obvious reasons may be abuse but this is not the only reason a child runs away and it does not indicate that all parents of runaways are abused. Children may run away because they’ve gotten into some sort of trouble with the authorities. They may have done something that they don’t want to face up to and don’t want their parents to know about. These may be minor transgressions but in the young person’s mind the situation is amplified and by their reasoning justifies running away.
In times past, when a young girl became pregnant she would leave home as a means to protect the family name. That is not the case these days since being a young unmarried mother no longer bears the negative stigma that it once did. Many other reasons exist that may cause a child to leave home such as the break up of their parents or constant conflict among family members. Children may leave homes where poverty exists or where they feel unloved or unwanted. Pressure by a boyfriend or girlfriend to leave home can be a factor in the decision.
Often teens will complain of no privacy, being treated like a child and declare that they can’t wait until they turn eighteen so they can move out. While most teens just complain, a few may actually decide to leave home and try to make it on their own. Usually those who do leave aren’t gone long. They often find that life at home wasn’t that bad after all. The world can be a big, scary place and unfortunately it is filled with predators. Young people can easily be influenced by those that don’t have their best interests at heart. There are any number of dangers that they could encounter. Parents want the best for their children and dread the thought of their offspring being anything less than happy, healthy and safe.
Kids can run away due to miscommunication with parents. A parent that works too much or travels a lot may feel that everything he or she does is to give the child a better life and even though that is true, the child may feel unloved because the parent is always busy and doesn’t seem to have time for him or her. By keeping good lines of communication open with your child you may be able to prevent your child from interpreting your behavior in the wrong way. Talk to your kids often and honestly. By sharing your feelings you let them know it’s okay to share theirs. When parents keep their feelings inside they sometimes appear closed off and that can give kids the impression that they are unapproachable.
Although most runaways are between the ages of fourteen and seventeen there are occasionally some as young as ten years of age. In most cases, runaways are not far from home. They usually stay in the vicinity and may have the assistance of a friend. Parents who suspect their child has run away instinctively report the incident to local authorities and begin searching on their own. These are the main steps that you can take when faced with the situation of finding a runaway. Contact everyone you know; distribute photos of your child. Speak with your child’s friends. Gather family members and friends together to search. Split up and search the neighborhood. Search places and areas that are familiar to your child. Have someone stay at your house in case your child should return home.
When your child is safely home, instead of expressing your anger over the fact that he or she ran away, express your love and gratitude that your child is safely home. Give your child some time to rest and relax. Don’t pressure your child to talk about the situation right away. Wait until he or she is ready to talk and then discuss the reason for running away. Be patient, loving and honest. Consider family counseling if necessary. It’s often easier to discuss feelings in a neutral environment with professional guidance.
Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:09 pm